


Always

by MootPoint



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:27:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23787802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MootPoint/pseuds/MootPoint
Summary: A sorely needed apology.
Kudos: 1





	Always

**Author's Note:**

> For context: Welcome to the RiddleVerse, in which Tom Marvolo Riddle does not become Lord Voldemort. He marries Narcissa Black, and takes in Sirius Black. Instead of Peter Pettigrew, Severus Snape is the fourth Marauder.

He waited until the classroom was nearly empty, until she was done talking to Professor Slughorn. He had been thinking. About the promise that he had made to himself. _If I can't be with her, then I'll be her best friend._ _I'll be by her side always._ Now he saw that promise for what it was: toxic. Shameful. He had tried to possess her, take her away from anyone but him. He felt the oily claws wrap around his heart. _Lily is not mine. She doesn't want me._ He reminded himself. _I don't deserve her if I want to own her._

She turned and saw him standing there. "Hey, Sev. What's up?" She opened her homework planner and started scribbling in it with a Muggle fountain pen. He snorted at the quiet act of defiance.

"I need to talk to you." He said, remembering why he'd waited in the first place. 

"What did you want to talk about?" Lily asked. 

"I wanted to say that I'm sorry. For everything." Severus said. 

"What are you talking about?" She asked. "What do you have to be sorry for?" 

So he told her. He told her about that promise, about every poisonous, jealous thought that made him feel entitled to her love. He apologized for attacking James those few times when he had felt particularly threatened. He apologized for clinging to her skirts like a child. He bared his soul to her and tried to tell her how he felt. "You were the first person who was ever nice to me just because you wanted to be. So I took that way too far." He said. "I'm sorry for how I acted, for trying to keep you for myself. But I know that you don't like me like that. You aren't mine, in any sense of the word. I'm sorry for ever thinking you were." He finished.

"Sev, what brought this on?" Lily asked. 

"I see the way you look at James." He admitted. "I know you want to be with him. And he wants to be with you. I don't want to get in the way of my friends' happiness." Severus said. 

"Sev-" 

"I can be your friend. I will be your friend." Severus said, more for his benefit than hers. "I can give you space. You deserve everything, Lily. I won't keep you from it." 

"Thank you, Sev." She hugged him tight, and he smiled sadly at the fact that, for his own good, this was the last time he would let her do this. "I appreciate this. I've known you too long to just forget about you." She looked up at him. "We'll always be friends." 

"Always." He agreed. Severus pulled away, and headed for the door, determined not to follow Lily Evans around any longer. 


End file.
